Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
