Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
