come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
