You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
