i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
