So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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