And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
