A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
