Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
