at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
