I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
