Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I supernannyed him into submission
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
