Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
