dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
