Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i may or may not be watching the land before time
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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