I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
