i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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