not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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