Whatcha textin bout Willis?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
