Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
