mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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