Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
