Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
