So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
