I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
