come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
