I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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