6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
