Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
