I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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