What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You need a sexual gate keeper
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
