i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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