Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
