I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just googled if crying burns calories
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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