i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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