my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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