you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
