I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
