we're blogging at a bar
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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