remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wish my penis had an off switch
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
