so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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