I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
