would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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