I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
