Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
