from now on my penis is your penis
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
