need another drink. this is the easiest way
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
