Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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