Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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