I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
